she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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