No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
