Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I would fuck him just for his dog
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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