My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
