At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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