I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
