Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
