The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
