he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
