she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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