I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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