i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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