Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
