Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
