your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
