you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
