I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
