so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
