And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
