My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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