So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
