addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
