david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
