dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
