We won't sleep together?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
