she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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