Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
