I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
