Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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