Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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