The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
