Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
