Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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