i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
