i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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