I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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