i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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