i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Terrible idea I love it
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
