We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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