what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
