My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
