Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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