She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
