my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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