I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
too bad you live with your parents still
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
