she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
