All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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