Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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