I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
