addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize