moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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