Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My life is pants optional.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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