hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
