White coat. Heels.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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