Will you blow on my dice?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
