That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
