So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
