If i come over, it means nothing
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
do herpes really smell.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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