you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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