You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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